This month I have learned that being a parent, raising a little one does not have a set course or structure, every single day is a different experience, life lesson and a journey. You are honestly keeping us on our toes this month and also testing our emotional boundaries along with seeing if we hold all the power or if you hold us in your hand. To be honest, you probably hold us in your hand at this point of your childhood but we will keep that to ourselves for now. I find myself evolving into a monster mum at some points, completely loosing my patience and temper with you especially when you do something I have told you to stop twice or you just won't nap and I have to make several trips up the stairs to tell you to go to sleep. Perhaps it is time we went back to being strict with the sleep rules again. Another thing with parenting, you will keep coming back to old rules that you think you have the leisure of bending at some point but a month down the track you will have to go back to that and apply it again. Some times with parenting it feels like you are slipping away from that perfect structure you had a month ago, the nights where you actually got a full nights rest, your kid actually decides to eat veggies and every food you throw at them but then they do a 360 and only eat carbs, throw the veggies on the ground and your left with a hankering for a decent nights sleep (coffee just does not cut it sometimes). This month is one of those months, the month that we will be thankful will be over and we can all get back onto a somewhat perfect "structure" of life again. Also I do not think you want to drop your naps anymore, you have been taking almost two hour naps in both nap times in a day, I shall put it down to the teething and such, boy it is a luxury I relish in but you still wake up grumpy af most times.
You are teething this months, I was waiting for it, welcoming it in fact but now that it is here it can just be done with. Your canines I think are the ones causing you the most grief right now and hell its one spout of grief for you! You are cranky as heck, fussy with your food, more emotional than usual which I did not think was possible, you have been chewing on things like your fingers or our fingers, drooling and those teething poo's are sent by the devil I swear. But the sleep, your sleep and ours is just the worst of it I think for all of us, the other night was just a sweltering mess, it was muggy upstairs (thank God for townhouses..), you did not want to be put down at all, you cried like literally every 5 minutes we left your room, I had to hold you for a bit while you settled down and you were just a sweaty mess on me but eventually you settled in for the night and stayed asleep but you decided to wake up at 5:30...what happened to 7:30 wake ups! I dream about those happening again soon at least on Christmas Day for us please!
Your vocabulary has just been expanding as always again this month, you learnt how to say "two" when I was changing you once this month, you learnt the sound a sheep makes and still perfecting your "moo's" and also a bunch of other good ones like "cool". You always learnt how to wave hello now which is sweet, you still wave goodbye at the window when Dad leaves for work which is heartbreaking to watch when your upset about it. In the world of toddler you are very interested in putting on your own shoes, laying out your clothes on the floor and attempting to dress yourself, you zipped up your pj's the other night which was thrilling to watch, you love brushing your teeth and your hair and you figured out how to take clothes out of your drawers but you have not mastered putting them back. I let you play upstairs while I shower and I watch you grab several books off your bookcase and make your way to your teepee, you sit down and flick through it so calmly while I am in the shower, it is the sweetest thing to watch for any book loving parent. I notice you only take books off that you actually remember or know and the rest you put back, your tiny fingers cannot open the Golden books so you come to me for that, am I bad if I chuckle at your frustrated face. Your obsessions this month have been the monitor in your bedroom, your two dog plushes and learning how to drink water from a cup which always ends up in a mess on you or the carpet. You magically put your toys away the other morning downstairs before a nap which shocked me so much I am afraid to try it again if it was a fluke also you have been letting me change your nappy and even brought me on this week which blew my mind. Usually you run away and hide somewhere or just ignore the hell out of my frequent requests, you still do that but I hope we can hit some solid ground with you being a little bit helpful without the stresses.
You fell down the stairs this month, the sheer panic on your face is so clearly echoed and stained in my heart forever I cannot even bear writing this down. The second you slipped on the step and your hand left mine, I pictured the worst outcome happening ever, during your fall my mind has blanked out all of that part but the second you landed burns brightly every time I walk down the stairs with or without you. Thank the high heavens and God because you came out unscathed except for a busted lip and a bump on the head. The panic and horror in Ben's voice as he got to you before me will also forever remain, in that second I could not breath or blink, I just had to watch in the slowest time frame possible the horror of the one I am meant to keep guarded and safe slip from me. Your poor busted lip, bleeding whilst I held your shaking, crying little body, eventually you calmed down with the help of having some water and messing on the carpet with it, but kid, you murdered our hearts and I am eternally thankful that you are alright after that ordeal. It was one whole day, an hour, a second but it felt like the whole week had fallen right onto my shoulders in that time. I could not bear anything happening to you ever, you will forever remain in a mother bubble until I feel certain that your small scraps and bruises cannot render me broken. My mother heart is healing from this accident and you get all the cuddles, all the looks of the wild love that has birthed from your presence in my life. I now want to move to a house with no stairs, no sharp edges, nothing that could possibly bring you harm because you hold my whole heart Phoebe Rey.
You got your needles this month, I was not there because I had to wash a super dirty dog but you got your needles in your arms for the first time and the mom guilt of not being there to comfort you is real. From what I hear the moment you had to drop the toys and go into the room you decided to not be a fan and then getting your needles done you were just a wreck, poor kiddo. You fell asleep in the car eating and I have been waiting for an entire lifetime for that to happen! It was bloody adorable but holy heck I am so sorry you were that tired, you poor sweet babe. We got you watermelon swimmers this month as well , you had some when you were smaller than you are now and I had to jump on the opportunity and get you some more from Seed that came out, they are sooo super cute and cannot wait for you to wear it.
Scratch that, we chucked you in them over the weekend because it was a hot one and took a bunch of photographs for this blog post. Hell, you and that watermelon colour are just a match made in heaven! I was impressed you actually had a blast in the water and I lost track of how long we were actually out in the backyard. You did not have a diaper on at all and I don't think you wet yourself in that time, maybe because you were having so much fun or perhaps I missed it. I have to think about these things because I mean the next adventure is toilet training and perhaps even a big girl bed but those "adventures" can wait a little while longer. It is funny because at the same time I want you to grow up a little bit but just stay teeny forever, accept cuddles and kisses please.