So recently, well every now and then, I will imagine or envision what our kids would be doing with us in that moment. I wonder what they'll look like and how they'll behave... The other day we were at church and everyone around me seemed to be holding babies. Babies are like daises at the moment! I pictured me holding our chubby little boy (he will be rollie pollie for sure), smiling at him and the image made my heart fly. Another time we were getting into the car and I put the laptop on the backseat, hopped in front and it was just a wintery windy afternoon sun setting time of day and I just picture putting our little girl in the back with her purple jacket! It's these images that give me hope recently, and I just love how they give me a little glimpse into the future!
I am one of those crazy people who have a tonne of baby names listed. It is a very long list and I am always adding names to it (I have recently cut it down to just a few names that I adore). Also recently I have been saying my top names in a sentence to Benjamin or adding them into the conversation like "I imagine so and so would do that or say this". I picture our little girl an artist, of course she will love reading like me, she will love the zoo, eating ice-cream with us and when she grows up I think she will be a good leader, a loyal friend, she will play some rock chick instrument like bass or drums, probably go on summer camps with friends and just be so on fire for God & church. Now our little boy! I picture him a little shy, but very smart like his dad, he will LOVE Lego, playing in the sand or any dirt/mud he finds, he will climb trees and when he grows up I think he will be protective of his family, especially if he is a big brother, he will be a thinker, an analyzer like his dad, he will be money smart too I hope! I hope one of our kids will love photography like us or even music/writing or just whatever. I hope they are involved in the church, that they love it and God and use their gifts to expand the Kingdom.
I am so excited to see what they will be like and for helping guide them through life. We certainly want super good open relationships with our kids, no secrets and we want them to know trust and loyalty are super important values to have in life. We want them to feel comfortable, telling us everything and we want to be their best friends and the people they come to for advice first or when they are in trouble.
We cannot wait to be parents and just watching our kids grow into the best possible people we can shape them to be. I think knowing that we did all we would and they grow up to be God-loving, loyal, kind-hearted people will just be so rewarding when it's our time to pass onto Heaven, I think it would make me feel better because I will admit I have been having so much anxiety about death and all of it, leaving people behind and being unprepared, it can come at any moment and if I just didn't finish life on this earth or prepare my kids for the rest of it I would feel so upset. Even thinking about it gives me chills! I hope in Heaven we can see and watch our kids lives and their kids lives, but who knows what will happen there! We will just have to wait and see.