Waking up this morning to have some cuddle time and breastfeed Phoebe I had some time to just reflect on how blessed we are to have her. When your sleep deprived and wake up to her movement or cries it is easy to get annoyed at her but once you hold her or she smiles at you, it all just fades away. I am so thankful that I took the leap to breastfeed a week ago, I guess I was putting it off because it was uncomfortable holding her against my healing stomach even with my breastfeeding pillow but these days it is comfortable enough for me to enjoy it. I will admit I was terrified to try it because of the risk of mastitis and all of that and it is still a fear of mine but so far things have been going great. I am quite surprised although sometimes it feels like my supply is dropping so I have been letting her feed before a bottle or just to help her fall asleep to encourage my supply. She has been getting fussy on the breast just over the past couple of days and I really think it is because of her vaccinations but it could be something else like nipple confusion because of the formula feeding through bottles.
Everyday she is getting more vocal, she seems to make the loudest noises when we walk away from her or she cannot see us, it literally sounds like she is calling for us to come back and then when you do come into her view she lets off the biggest dorkiest smile ever and I honestly love that she smiles with her eyes before her mouth. She has started to hold her hands together which is beyond exciting and she brings them to her mouth and noms on her hands and fingers when she is hungry. Her neck muscles are much much stronger and when you hold her she pushes off your body or decides she wants to grasp hold of your shirt or in Ben's case his beard. She falls asleep holding your finger, she legit pulls the bottle and holds it herself (sometimes with assistance) and she makes the cutest noises when she is falling asleep.
I cannot wait for her to grow up, I can't wait for her to play with wooden toys, colour in books or enjoy sticker books, to read words out-loud, to dance to Ben's music or bop around, to ride a skateboard, wear a pom-pom beanie, tie her own shoes, run around in puddles, chase the dogs, eat solid foods! All of it, I am just really excited for. I am excited for her to grow up in the church, I imagine her has a fearless leader for her generation, well that is my vision for her or my dream if you will, to be fearless, to be bold, to be strong, to be a warrior. I love Lisa Bevere's quote "the spirit of a warrior resides in you", I really hope she finds that power in her heart and soul.
"like arrows in the hand of a warrior are children born in one's youth"