It was the morning of the 6th of August, 2015. I woke up, showered, made a smoothie, read my devotions - my usual morning routine, complete with getting distracted on Facebook! As I scrolled through my feed I saw that one of my friends announced she was expecting, and I was instantly upset.. This wasn't a new thing for me. I starting crying and asking God all the "why!" questions. I was so angry with God and confused, like how could I be hurting so much at these announcements!
My day was ruined. Without answers, I pushed my books aside and went to play piano instead - an excellent emotional and creative outlet. I played a few Hillsong songs, cried a little, played a bit more, and the anguish in my heart became calm.. I let it go, and somehow praised God through worship. I found such peace in that moment.
Feeling better, I returned and finished my devotionals. In this time I was convicted to not hate on the person who was blessed with a miracle but instead contact them, pray for them and congratulate them, so I did just that! And as I was reading through one of my books it suggested I should write down prayer points and pray for each one. So here is what I listed:
- Conceive naturally very very soon, certainly while our grandparents are still with us, and see two lines on a pregnancy test.
- All checkups, ultrasounds, pap smear etc. would not be uncomfortable, cause distress or anxiety (side note - pap smears are literally hell on earth for me, and I have not overcome them!)
- Give birth naturally (Water birth if possible) in a dimly lit room, calm environment music playing, NO TEARING and a speedy recovery.
- Be a champ at breastfeeding
- Have a super happy healthy pregnancy, have a smiling happy baby who wakes up after a nap in good spirits and is a good sleeper
- Have 4 children (and of course I prayed for our future children in that moment)
So after I prayed with absolute faith and all of my heart, I felt the presence of God surround me, there was just so much peace and love in my heart in that moment so I had a feeling I should take a test. Keeping in mind my period was due in 2 days and I had no symptoms for pregnancy at all. I prayed several times during my toilet break and waiting for the test itself, the love that surrounded me was immense! It was amazing. I covered the test and went about my business and waiting about 3 minutes.
I prayed a final prayer before I revealed the test to myself, I prayed that there would be two lines and as I took the paper way there was TWO LINES! I was beyond floored, shocked but in my heart I already knew that before I took the paper away that there would be two lines. I immediately texted Benjamin and told him there is a faint second line right there! I did not know what to do! We talked on the the phone after multiple texts filled with "WHAT?" and a tonne of emoticons, I only had 1 test left with me that I had just used so it was a waiting game until he came home. He left work early after not being able to concentrate because of the news, so when we got home we went to the nearest shop and I got two more sticks that evening, took them and the second line was much more clearer! We were over the moon and all non-believing, just in so much shock and wonder! The next morning I took a digital test and without a fail it came up pregnant and that is our journey of the day that God blessed us! It was such a shock, we were beyond excited, Benjamin was over the darn moon and it was just all God's timing! To all those struggling to fall pregnant or have infertility problems, it will happen for you! We had so many stressful times and I was just about to give up trying and have a break that day but pray your little hearts out and believe God will do it for you! We already have his promises and blessings in our lives, we just have to hold onto his Word and truth.